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Creative Writing with Flair!

June 2023

Students in Year 4 had the opportunity to respond creatively to the stimulus of the image below working towards an entry into the WriteOn 2023 competition, an annual writing competition organised by NESA and open to all NSW Primary School students.

Congratulations to Amos McLean in 4F whose work was chosen to be entered in the 2023 competition. Mrs Rathanam Fraser, teacher in Year 4, commented how beneficial it was for students to participate in writing competitions, "Students learn to grow their writing skills and learn the skills of putting their imaginings into an engaging piece of writing. The hard work pays off."

The students drew on their learning of the 15th and 16th century world explorers as they composed their work.

Refugees By Amos

I trudged forward in the sand, guiding the camel. The caravan seemed to go on forever. We were officially refugees.

I’m Abu Bakar. I’m from Cairo, Egypt. I wear a dark brown oil skin coat that wraps around me like a second skin and shaggy black pants. I have very dark brown hair (almost black) and dark skin. Right now, I’m in a refugee camp, but you’re going to find out how and why I got here.

It was the 5th of May 1915. For the events that were to come, the weather was inappropriate. It was a bright day and there was a faint sense of cheeriness in the air. The temperature was mild - hot enough so that we wouldn’t have to put our coats on and cold enough so that we wouldn’t have to run around with no clothes on. The sun hung suspended in the sky, high, radiant and captivating resplendently. Then I heard it. The whirr of a plane. There it was again! Then I saw it. The majestic bird of terror. A bomber plane. A high-pitched whistle filled the air. Everyone was looking at the sky now. The bomb fell from the plane like an arrow. It was aimed close to me. My eyes widened as the bomb got closer. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t. My gaze was fixed on that bomb. It came closer… and exploded.

The force of the explosion sent me flying back. Clumps of sand gritted my eyes. Egyptian soldiers swarmed in and fired at the plane. It veered away; its job done. I stood up and looked around. The soldiers were grinning at each other and slapping their backs. Suddenly, a whole fleet of bomber planes swooped in. Soldier after soldier fell dead, killed by the fleets machine guns. Like a crimson tapestry, blood stained the sand. Explosions sounded, sending sand flying and killing people. I ran to my family’s tent and began packing a bag. I slipped out the back of the tent. My family were standing next to our camel, Mannie, who was heavily packed. Together, my family and I walked over to a whole caravan of camels. I looked back at my home. “Would I ever see it again?” I thought sadly.

The next few days went by in a blur. I remember clomping over a sand dune and heaving a sigh of relief when I saw the refugee camp tents.

So here I am at the camp. I… what’s that sound? Oh no. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

The Black Death by Max

First, the doctor saw the black mark across his body, then she saw his nose swell up like a balloon. He had the Black Death.

Max was riding his camels down the road when he heard the news that his dad had the black death. He was very scared and knew he wouldn’t be allowed to see him because it was so contagious. He decided that his only hope was to find a cure. Max headed to the silk road where he had heard stories that there were healing gems. He knew that this road was very dangerous because bandits and robbers could take and steal his stuff, they could even kill him!

Max came to a round blue lake with sparkling waters. He felt steaming hot, the sun was beating down on his skin. All he wanted to do was to swim in the lake. It looked so refreshing.

He decided he could take a short break.

Max ran down, but just as he was about to hit the water an unknown force shoved him back!

He was very surprised.

He tried again and again but never made it further than the water’s edge.

Even though he wanted to investigate further he was very tired. So, he went and lay down on the grass and went to sleep. The next morning, he explored around the lake. Right of a cluster of trees was a rock that had a drawing of a gem. Wondering why there was a picture drawn on the rock he looked around looking for a clue, at first, he couldn’t see anything weird but then he found a jewel buried in the sand with only the top sticking out. He picked it up out of the sand and suddenly a rumbling sound could be heard! Then, the rock split in two and a button took it’s place, it was a big blue button with dark ring around the top like an evil angel. Max was very curious to what it did, so curious in fact that he pressed the button. The lake lost it’s shimmer. He walked down to the lake thinking that he would be thrown back, but he went right in! In case the lake’s forcefield went back he swam out to the middle of the lake. When he was out in the middle, he dived under. A gem caught his eye and so he dived down. Next to the gem was a plaque that read: Congratulations on finding this healing gem. It holds great power, use it wisely.

He would be able to make his father well now. He grabbed the gem excitedly and galloped home. He told his father to touch the jewel. He touched it and he was healed. Next time anyone got the Black Death he would be called. Although he was just a kid, he had helped many people a lot of times all throughout Europe.


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